When’s the last time you felt yourself giving in to the temptations and impulses we experience on a daily basis? Did you notice yourself beginning to lose control over your thoughts, emotions, and desires in that very moment? Were you slowly growing weaker each and every second?
If this is something you experience often, don’t panic — you’re not alone. In fact, many people struggle with this sense of control and often find themselves in situations that are damaging to their physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and social health. It’s more common than you’d think.
One of the main reasons this is more popular than it should be is because most people lack something called self-regulation. They don’t have the necessary self-regulation skills to maintain a positive and uplifting experience throughout life, which doesn’t bode well for their well-being.
So, what is self-regulation?
Self-regulation is nothing more than will-power. It’s what gives us control over our emotions, desires, thoughts, impulses, temptations, and performance in life. It’s what allows us to seek reward and avoid punishment in a positive way, no matter what that entails or encompasses.
With self-regulation, we’re able to override the knee-jerk reactions that cause us to fall victim to a downward spiral. It gives us a sense of capacity for changing ourselves as needed on a daily basis, giving us the power to show up and dominate the world in the exact ways we want to.
By practicing self-regulation, you unlock your true potential and start to open doors you never thought were possible before. You start to distance yourself from all the things that are bringing you down in life and instead begin to center in or focus on the things that make you who you are.
When you obtain the necessary self-regulation skills, you gain a better sense of direction in your life. You have a higher self-esteem, form better relationships with others, gain social skills, have optimal emotional responses, take better care of your body, and make better overall decisions.
One thing most people need to understand is that self-regulation is different from self-control — though the two are similar. Self-control is more of a social skill, while self-regulation acts more like a thermostat. It lets you know when it’s time to ‘heat up’ or ‘cool down’ in each moment.
In order to do this, you need to make sure you have a good reading on the current ‘temperature of the room’ — to stay in line with our thermostat metaphor. You must have clear standards for yourself, be able to effectively monitor yourself, have positive motivations, and have strength.
This is where will-power starts to play a major role in your life. It allows you to not only assess your feelings at any given moment, but also allows you to compare those feelings to your ‘target temperature’ so you can make the proper adjustments within yourself to maintain positivity.
Self-regulation is a skill that not everyone has, but it’s something that anyone can learn over time. If you’re interested in growing your self-regulation skills and learning how you can start practicing self-regulation on a daily basis, contact our amazing team over here at Danny Stillman Coaching!